Are
you an artist? Would you like to be featured on
Nubzilla's Café? Great! Grab a pencil and
a sheet of paper and take this simple quiz to
see if you qualify.
1. The ball is in my court. My mission, should
I choose to accept it, is to get the ball into
Nubzilla's court. I can complete this mission
by doing one of the following:
a.) chew the ball up and eat it.
b.) throw the ball to Nubzilla.
c.) sit on my ass and wait for Nubzilla to ask
for the ball.
d.) none of the above
2. Nubzilla's Cafe is: (hint: go back
to www.nubzilla.com/cafe/
and reread the "Welcome to Nubzilla's Café"
section)
a.) an actual coffeeshop that will hire me to
play at their venue. I should call immediately
to find out when I can book a gig.
b.) an online destination — a cyber cafe
with more than 12,000 visitors per year where
my art will be presented over the internet to
people around the globe.
3. Nubzilla will feature me if:
a.) I do absolutely nothing.
b.) I have talent and/or I am an interesting or
an unusual artist and I download the Artist
Signup Form at the end of this quiz and FOLLOW
EVERY SINGLE STEP IN THE ARTIST SIGNUP FORM LEAVING
NO PORTION INCOMPLETE.
c.) I act like a rock star and wait for Nubzilla
to find me via an google search like "too
good for Nubzilla" and then I wait for him
to slap my stuff up on Nubzilla's Café
without my permission so I can sue him for millions
of dollars later.
d.) I make a sandwich.
4. Nubzilla will only feature the following
types of artists on his site:
a.) musicians (solo artists and bands).
b.) all of the above and below.
c.) poets and storytellers.
d.) visual artists.
5. I will be paid the following amount of money
for allowing Nubzilla to feature my work on Nubzilla's
Café:
a.) 1 million dollars (please put your pinky
to you mouth and read this option aloud in a sinister
voice).
b.) $0.00 (I understand that Nubzilla's Café
is a FREE service to artists like me and I understand
that it actually costs him money to keep it running).
c.) one hundred million, kagillion, meggelydoodabazillion
dollars.
d.) I will be paid in gold.
6. Nubzilla's goal is to:
a.) make people laugh.
b.) all of the above and below.
c.) help spread the word about up-and-coming artists
and help promote artists with undeniable talent
in an effort to stomp out the mediocrity and crap
the entertainment industry is selling to America
as "quality entertainment."
d.) rule the world one day.
e.) eat as much as possible.
7. Nubzilla is a:
a.) gnat.
b.) deceptively adorable, gigantic jack russell
terrifier weighing in at more than 30lbs and standing
more than 19" tall at the shoulder.
c.) goat.
d.) a new car by Volkswagon.
e.) Godzilla's nephew. |
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Grading
your quiz. . .
If you answered "b" to all of the questions,
your score is perfect and you qualify to be featured
on Nubzilla's Café. Please download the
Artist Signup Form below and follow ALL
of the directions.
If you got anything less than 7 out of 7 answers
correct, you do not qualify to be featured on
Nubzilla's Café at this time. Please continue
to retake the quiz until you answer all of the
questions correctly. (hint: the correct answer
is "b".)
Nubzilla's Artist Signup Form
Click
here to download it now.
(Adobe
Acrobat Reader is required to view the
Artist Signup Form. If you have no means by
which to view the Artist Signup Form, please
email Nubzilla
and he will drop one in the mail for you.) |
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